Wives and children of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)

Twice widowed, single parent, businesswoman Khadijah (RAH) becomes Prophet Muhammad's first wife

How Khadijah became richest lady in Makkah

Khadijah (Raddi Allahu anha, usually abbreviated to RAH, meaning May Allah be pleased with her), daughter of Khuwailid ibn Asad, was the first wife of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). She was from the Asad clan of the tribe of Quraysh and considered the best of women in lineage, fortune and wisdom.

Khadijah was a wealthy businesswoman in Makkah. She was well known and the richest lady - not richest person - in Makkah. She had been married twice previously. She had a son called 'Hala' from her first marriage. 'Hala' is a girl's name in modern times but it was a common boy's name in those days. Hala eventually accepted Islam and lived a noble life along with the Prophet Muhammad.

Khadijah's second husband was a wealthy merchant but they had no children. In jahiliya (i.e. period of ignorance in Arabia prior to advent of Islam) women did not inherit. Since Khadijah and her husband had no children, and he did not have any siblings, Khadijah inherited a small fortune in this rare instance. Over the course of next few years Khadijah invested that money, for example, purchasing goods at times of Hajj and sending them to Syria, and purchasing goods from Syria and sending them to Yemen, and purchasing goods from Yemen and sending them to Makkah.

But because Khadijah's a woman she couldn't do it by herself in this male-dominated society. She had to employ men to do her business every single time. Those days they didn't pay a wage but a percentage profit (e.g. the male labourer would take 30% and the owner would take 70%, etc). But usually the man Khadijah selected would carry out fraudulent activities behind her back. For example, undercutting her, stealing her goods, lying, not giving full account, etc. So Khadijah never got the type of wealth she deserved and earned. Nevertheless she maintained her dignity and still made money.

Khadijah rejects various marriage proposals from prominent men

Khadijah remained a single parent. It was very rare for somebody to be single in that society. It was normal practice to be married, people avoided living a single life. But Khadijah, perhaps because she had been married twice already, had closed this marriage door and remained single. A number of men tried to marry her because she was of noble lineage, a pure Qurayshi, and wealthy woman. If they married her they would possess the wealth according to jahili law. So a lot of prominent men had asked for her hand in marriage but Khadijah refused their advances and turned them down. She didn't feel that their intention was pure and they would treat her the way she deserved.

Early job as a shepherd for Muhammad (pbuh)

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), had no particular job at his early youth, but it was reported that he worked as a shepherd in Makkah for a meagre wage. He'd find people who owned flock, and he'd take care of this flock and get a small wage in return.

Khadijah's older sister had a herd of camels and she hired 23 - 24 year old Muhammad (pbuh) and another young man to take her large flock out and graze them outside of Makkah. After they finished the grazing, they had to go to town to collect their wages. The young man with the Muhammad (pbuh) said let's go and ask Khadijah's sister for our wage. Muhammad (pbuh) told him to go on his behalf as he was too shy to go because she's a woman. So the young man went to Khadijah's sister's house and it so happened Khadijah was in her house at that time. He asked for his wages, Khadijah asked where was Muhammad, so the man told them he was too shy to come and ask. Hearing this, Khadijah's sister heaped praises on Muhammad (pbuh) non-stop.

I have not seen any man who is more shy, more noble, more honourable, more chaste in his interaction...

Khadijah's sister eulogies about Muhammad (pbuh) in front of her

This was the first time Khadijah seen her sister praise any man in this manner. Something entered her heart.

Hired by businesswoman Khadijah (RAH) to be a merchant

Later on the year when Khadijah had to send her own caravan to Syria. In those days the caravans from Makkah made two journeys: one to Yemen and the other to Syria.

When Khadijah heard lavish praises of Muhammad (pbuh) she decided to hire him even though he had no prior business experience and he was young. Usually, people hired merchants who are in the 40s or 50s and had experience of dealing with others, were business savvy, and knew the journey route, for example. But Khadijah overlooked all these as she wanted a honest man.

Khadijah sent a message to Muhammad (pbuh) through one of her servant saying asking him to take care of her caravan. Muhammad (pbuh) went to his uncle Abu Talib for advice. This shows his respectable nature. While other men would jump to the offer, Muhammad (pbuh) still sought permission from his elder even though he didn't need it. Abu Talib advised him to take the opportunity which Allah has blessed him, especially since it was better than his present shepherd job.

So Muhammad (pbuh) took the offer. Khadijah offered him a higher rate than others and agreed to give him half (50%) of the profit as he was a good man. This would be a good incentive for him to do a good job, she thought. This was a very generous offer from Khadijah.

Muhammad (pbuh) went with one of Khadijah's male servant, believed to be 'Maisarah', and went for trade to Busra, Syria, a small town outside of Damascus on the periphery of the Byzantine Empire. The Arabs typically stopped at Busra, they wouldn't go to Damascus. Busra had a huge marketplace known for selling and buying of goods. It was a meeting ground of many cultures. Arabs from north, Egyptian from Africa, Yemenis from the south, would all meet here. It was a town famous for economic transactions. Even today, there are still ruins of marketplace that existed long before the times of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

When they returned to Makkah, Maisarah told Khadijah of the care, concern and honesty that Muhammad (pbuh) had shown and of his exceptional character. Muhammad (pbuh) made multiple profits which Khadijah never witnessed before. This was another example of Allah blessing him.

Khadijah's feelings grew stronger for Muhammad (pbuh). She developed a wish to marry him.

Khadijah (rah) proposes to Muhammad (pbuh)

Muslim scholars differ as to exactly how the marriage proposal was conducted. But they all agree that Khadijah instigated it.

In one version of the story, Khadijah told a close friend (or possibly an elderly female servant) Nafisah, daughter of Muniya, regarding her intentions to marry Muhammad (pbuh). Nafisah told her to leave it with her. She visited Muhammad (pbuh) and posed the question to him. He showed interest but was curious as to why Khadijah wanted to marry him.

Nafisah: "Oh Muhammad, why don't you get married

Muhammad (pbuh): "Who would marry me? Because I am the orphan, poor people of the Quraysh."

Nafisah: "What if Khadijah wanted to marry you

Muhammad (pbuh) after a brief silence: "Why would she want me?"

Nafisah poses marriage question to Muhammad (pbuh)

Nafisah went back to Khadijah and told her what happened. Subsequently they got married.

Once again the details of this vary.

Biographer Ibn Ishaq said the marriage took place in the Islamic month of Safar, three months after he returned from the Busra caravan trip. So for three months they were going back and forth regarding the marriage talk.

There are two popular versions of how the marriage was conducted.

In one version it is narrated that Khadijah's father was alive at the time and he opposed the marriage. He became drunk and convinced that the marriage had already taken place. So when he became sober it was too late to say no. But this story has a very weak chain of narration and is contradicted by number of facts. Firstly, Ibn Hajar (who died c. 852 A.H.) and others point out that Khadijah's father had died before this proposal had happened so she never had a father at the time. This makes sense when you consider that if her father was alive he would've inherited Khadijah's money according to the custom of the time. A woman did not get the money if she had a husband, brother or father.

In another version of the story - which is presented by more books by scholars of repute and considered more authentic account - it is narrated that Khadijah's uncle Amr ibn Asad was the one who performed the nikah (marriage). There was no issue of alcohol, sober, or anything of that nature. Amr was the wali (a person who is responsible for the bride's life before she is married) and Abu Talib came with Muhammad (pbuh) and performed the khutbah (sermon). In it, Abu Talib praised Allah and their lineage as was common practice. He praised Muhammad (pbuh) and expressed the mahr (dowry amount) as 12 waqiya wa nishan (12 nugget of silver and few silver coins), equivalent to few hundred pound in modern day but a modest amount in those days.

Abu Talib: "...My nephew [Muhammad] is the one with no comparison with any other young man in all of Makkah, in his manners, nobility and lineage. And he has proposed to your noble lady Khadijah with a mahr of 12 waqiya wa nishan..."

Amr stood up: "This is a young man who cannot be refused. We accept the proposal."

Both families welcome the marriage

How old was Khadijah at the time of her marriage? 40 or 28?

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and Khadijah (rah) married around 595 C.E. Almost everyone agrees that Muhammad (pbuh) was around 25 years old (some say 23 or 24). Their marriage lasted 25 years. Khadijah was older than him. But by how many years?

It is commonly believed that Khadijah was 40 years old when she married Muhammad (pbuh), i.e. there was a 15-year age gap between the two. This is the opinion of one of classical scholars of Islam, Imam al-Waqidi (who died 207 A.H.). He said Khadijah was 40 when she married the Prophet and she died aged 65.

However, there are more authentic reports that Khadijah was not 40 at the time of marriage.

Academically speaking, there are two problems with this age (of 40). Firstly, Imam al-Waqidi is not of the calibre of the scholars who mention the revised age. He is lower in the scale of repute.

Scholars like Al Bayhaqi (a hadith expert who died 458 A.H.), Ibn Kathir (the eminent historian from Syria who died 774 A.H) and others reported that Khadijah died when she was in her 50s (thereby making Khadijah in her late 20s at the time of marriage). Another early authority, Hisham ibn al-Kalbi, said that Khadijah married when she was 28 years old, therefore there's a 3-year age gap, not 15, between her and Muhammad (pbuh). Al-Hakim also narrates Ibn Ishaq - the number one authority on seerah - as saying Khadijah was 28 years old.

This age of 28 appears to be more valid and creditable for two reasons. Firstly, the people reporting the age of 28 are more in quantity and calibre. Secondly, Muhammad (pbuh) and Khadijah had at least 6 children, born between c. 595 - 604 C.E. It is difficult to imagine a woman in her 40s having six children. It is more logical and rational to believe a woman in her 20s to have them. Also, if Khadijah was born around 550 C.E. she would've been 54 years old in 604. She was also married twice before. So academically speaking, it is more sound to believe she was 28 rather than 40 when she got married - but there is no indisputable proof.

First Muslim was a woman

Khadijah (rah) was the first person to declare her faith in Islam and become a Muslim after the Prophet (pbuh) received the revelations. She was the first to bear witness that there is no god except Allah and that her husband was the Messenger of Allah.

Some of the blessing, some of the morals of the story of with Khadijah, first and foremost, it shows the importance of honesty and good etiquette. Good akhlaq (virtue). Honesty is appreciated by everybody in mankind. It brings about blessings.

Because the Prophet was honest as a shepherd, shy as a worker at a very menial job, that shyness an honesty upgraded his position in pay rank. He was honest, trustworthy, humble, modest. He had good qualities. What happened? Automatically opportunities were created that gave him more and more higher positions. And this is the reality of the dunya (world): if you show your character, character counts a lot, much more than experience. Khadijah overlooked that he had zero experience and hired him for him to become one of the highest paid businessman in all of Makkah.

It also shows the intelligence and status of Khadijah because she saw the Prophet (pbuh) as being ideal and perfect husband.

This clearly shows the permissibility of not just natural feeling of desire and attraction, but pursuing that in a permissible manner. It is not haram to be in love, it is halal to be in love. It is what you do with it.

Sheikh Yasir Qadhi

Muhammad (pbuh), a loyal husband to Khadijah

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and Khadijah (rah) were married for 25 years. Given the number of children they had, they seem to have a happy relationship.

When Muhammad (pbuh) married Khadijah, she was twice widowed, older, and a single parent. This showed that the Prophet (pbuh) was not a lustful man as some modern-day non-Muslim critics have labelled against him. If he wanted he could've married a younger lady, a virgin. But he married someone of nobility and remained faithful to her for duration of their marriage. He only began marrying in his mid-50s, possibly 54. So in the prime of his youth and adult years and his peak sexually active years (i.e. 20s, 30s, and 40s), he remained thoroughly loyal, committed, and devoted to Khadijah and in control of his desires. He was devastated when she passed away. During the same time his loving and supportive uncle Abu Talib had also died - causing him to go through depression at the age of 50.

Other wives

All wives, except one, were either widowed or divorced

Khadijah was buried at Jannatul Mualla cemetery, also known as Al-Hajun cemetery, in Makkah, Saudi Arabia, where her first child with the Propphet, Al-Qasim, is also buried. Following her passing, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had several other marriages until his death, aged 62 - 63. Collectively, his wives are referred to as Umm-al-Momineen, Mother of the Believers.

During the time of the Prophet (pbuh), being single was an alien concept. Having a spouse was the norm so there was no stigma if you were divorced or widowed. Marriage was highly encouraged.

All Prophet's wives - except A'ishah (rah) - were widowed or divorced. They were all from Arabia. Sawdah, A'ishah, Hafsah, and Umm Habibah all belonged to the tribe of Quraysh, while the others came from various other tribes. All the wives, except Khadijah, are buried in Baqi al-Garqad (also known as Jannat-ul Baqi) in Madinah.

Breaking custom and taboo

Some of the Prophet's marriages were for legislative reasons and to abolish certain corrupt traditions. Since no other prophets were going to come after him, it was left to him to reform anti-Islamic customs.

 

 

Surah 33 Al-Ahzab (The Combined Forces), ayat 38

There is not to be upon the Prophet any discomfort concerning that which Allah has imposed upon him. [This is] the established way of Allah with those [prophets] who have passed on before. And ever is the command of Allah a destiny decreed.